How To Get Your Girlfriend Back

So, the worst has happened. Your girlfriend has said it's over. People tell you to get over it, but all you can think about is how to get your girlfriend back.

Take heart - those people are wrong, and you are right.

Nine times out of ten, when lovers separate, they actually still love one another. Bad things have happened, words have been said, maybe things have been done, feeling were hurt, but underneath it all there is a real and abiding love.

Don't give up on that love just yet.

No matter how awful the situation appears to be, there really is hope. With the right information, if there is any love left between the two of you, you can get your girlfriend back - and it's easy to spot the signs that she's not really over you.

Find out how to use little-known psychological facts about the subconscious mind to bring your girlfriend back in a way that makes it seem like it was completely her idea. Study and practice until the knowledge is second nature, and let the process take its natural course.

At times like this, we instinctively react in the worst possible way, and that turns a temporary emotional blow-up into a permanent separation.

You know when little kids yell at their parents "I hate you!" - but of course they don't really mean it?

Truth be told, we don't grow up all that much when it comes to strong emotions. Your girlfriend might be feeling that the relationship is too painful, or not rewarding enough, or she might be angry and confused, but just like that two-year-old, chances are she still loves you underneath.

So, how do you clear away the unhappy stuff from the recent past, and allow that genuine love to return to the surface?

It's sad, but in our culture, people aren't very good at relationships. Every day, hundreds, maybe thousands of relationships break up - when there is no need for it at all.

The problem is that 90% of what goes on in relationships happens non-verbally, and below the conscious level. Things happen, and we don't know why. To most people, the important turning points in their relationships are totally invisible.

There's a great article at Gather which expains how this ignorance leads people to escalate the normal ups-and-downs of emotional relationships into major relationship-killing disasters. Avoid these relationship-killers and save your relationship.

The good news is that you can learn "the rules" of these subconscious interactions. Armed with this knowledge, you will be able to stay in control and steadily lead your girlfriend back to the realisation that her true feelings for you haven't changed at all.

Why Do Women Break Up With Men?

Men usually feel that women break up with them suddenly, and without warning. Women tell me they have been letting their man know they were unhappy for weeks, months, or years.

If you know the simple secrets to keeping women happy, you can save any relationship. To get your girlfriend back just requires knowing the "black belt" level relationship moves that will melt away all the bad feelings and resentment between you and your ex. Fortunately, these skills are neither complicated nor difficult to understand.

The first mistake guys make when their girlfriend says it's over is - they believe her.

Why is this a mistake?

If you start thinkig and acting as if it's over, you will start feeling your body's natural reaction to being hurt and abandoned - and that is VERY unpleasant. You are probably nodding along about now, aren't you? It's horrible.

You feel sick to your stomach, you have trouble sleeping and eating, you obsess constantly about her, you can't concentrate on anything, and everything you see or hear seem to trigger another round of horrible emotions and sensations.

Now, take a deep breath. Close your eyes (after you finish reading this paragraph!) and picture the two of you, about five years from now, looking back and remembering "that awful blow up you had back then". Laughing about how silly it was, and marvelling at how close you both came to losing the best thing that ever happened to you. Imagine that this separation is just part of the process which took your relationship to a whole new level. Do it now.

Close your eyes for a few seconds and picture it as clearly as you can.

Ok, back again?

Doesn't that make the current situation a whole lot more bearable? A whole heap of tension settles down, and your mind clears. Did you notice you were a little more inclined to forgive some of her transgressions, too? In the big picture, they don't matter much at all, do they?

So, the number one mistake to avoid is thinking of the relationship as being over. Nine times out of ten, it won't have to end. So shrug off that burden and start looking towards a brighter future.

The next mistake guys make is to focus directly on persuading her to say she will get back with you. That is doomed to failure. She's going to feel that as pressure, plus it makes you look needy or aggressive, depending on your style, and neither of those is a good look.

Do not talk to her if you are thinking or feeling that you must get her back. Step back, take some time out, and get some perspective. This phase has a certain logic and rhythm to it, and you can't rush it.

Find out how to use little-known psychological facts about the subconscious mind to bring your girlfriend back in a way that makes it seem like it was completely her idea. Study and practice until the knowledge is second nature, and let the process take its natural course.

One day, the moment will come. She will start talking about "trying again", or she will start being somewhat more affectionate than perhaps "just friends" exes ought to be.

Don't blow it at this point!

Go slow, take time to "think about it", and above all, avoid the impulse to tell her "see, I said you would change your mind".

Remember, this whole thing has been happening below the level of her conscious awareness. She won't know why she has been feeling warmer toward you lately, and she certainly won't expect that you have been creating that experience for her on purpose. It is very important that she doesn't get the sense that you are pushing for a reconciliation in any way.

Once you start "trying again", keep making all the moves that you used to bring her back to you, and don't slip into complacency once she is definitely yours again. These new pieces of knowledge need to be woven into your habits, to ensure that things never go off the rails again.

Apply your new-found knowledge about how to get your girlfriend back and keep her happy forever, and in the end you will be sitting right where you imagined - in her arms, laughing about how silly it was that you ever considered splitting up.

Images: pedrosimoe7, nattu, la_cola_de_mi_perro